I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
