just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
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More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.