It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.