super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor