Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.