i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Drake has all the answers
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
