Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
