We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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