I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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