U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
