Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
