Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
