You smell like stripper and shame
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
