Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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