Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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