my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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