i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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