There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize