She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
