69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You dont lie about slip and slides
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
