We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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