AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
