put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You are the jesus of drinking
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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