the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i came on her dog
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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