so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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