i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
