dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
