Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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