Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
