tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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