you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
