Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
