you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
