DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
