so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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