just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
