We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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