So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
