You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
