well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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