last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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