I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
