The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
