Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
