Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
