so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
