im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
