Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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