it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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