Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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