I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
