I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
we're so committed to being not committed
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