id be glad to
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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