Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just found a bag of teeth...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
