Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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