I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
