I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
