Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
