So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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