I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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