Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
