he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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