Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
